Total Abandon Page 2

  “It’s the one thing you can’t force. You can study to pass a test. You can diet yourself thin. You can save to buy the car of your dreams. But you can’t make sex behave the way you want it to. You have to let it show the way.”

  “Is that supposed to be Zen or something?”

  “I don’t know Zen. I do know sex.” He went to her and put his big hands on her shoulders. “You can’t steer it. You have to let it steer you.”

  “That’s silly.”

  “Oh, really? Ask any guy who ever had an embarrassing erection if sex didn’t take control. Women have automatic responses, too. You can just hide them better.”

  Like her nipples getting hard? They hadn’t softened yet, and they weren’t likely to with him standing so close. And her cheeks had warmed. He’d have to notice the flush of her skin.

  “You might be having some of those responses now,” he said. “Or am I wrong?”

  As tempting as it might be to deny her reaction to him, she didn’t deal in dishonesty. Besides, if he was going to help her with her problem, he’d need to read her physiological signs correctly. “I am responding.”

  “Want to tell me exactly how?”

  “I can’t quite seem to catch my breath.” Odd she hadn’t noticed before, but the air in the room seemed thick and hard to pull into her lungs. And weirder than that, she’d had the same sensation she’d had looking at his picture: that she could taste him even though they’d never kissed. Again, she ended up licking her lips.

  In response, his gaze fell to her mouth and stayed there as if he found it fascinating. His eyes took on an almost hungry expression. He wanted her, and she could have him any which way that popped into her head.

  This time, he wasn’t a photograph. He stood before her in the glorious flesh, and she’d only have to lean into him to see if he’d really taste like honey. So, she did. She rested her hand against his chest and tipped her face upward. He made her wait. Not more than a few seconds, but enough time to let the anticipation build. This would be the kind of kiss you saw in movies or read about in books. Something she’d never experienced but always dreamed about.

  When he finally crossed the last few inches and placed his lips on hers, reality burst like a flash of lightning in her brain. He did taste sweet, although not like anything she’d ever savored before. She sampled him slowly, but when he cupped the back of her head, tilting it so their mouths fit, she took more and more of him. She hadn’t misjudged the softness of the lower lip, so she nibbled on it gently before brushing it with her tongue. That must have issued an invitation, because he responded with his own tongue seeking entrance to her mouth.

  God, he was intoxicating. No matter how much she took, she needed more. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she pulled herself as close against him as she could manage. She’d shared kisses with a lover before but not like this one. So all-encompassing, from the sweetness of his lips to the ragged sound of his breathing to the firm muscles beneath her palms. He even smelled good, a combination of warm sunshine and human male.

  His arms went around her, tugging her closer against his hard body. She was tall, but he was taller, and he made her feel small and delicate. Cherished. After a few more moments of pure hedonism, he ended the kiss, resting the side of his face against hers. His breath came hard and fast, as if he’d been running. Her own was just as frantic, and her pulse pounded in her ears. As kisses went, that one was in a class by itself. Good Lord in heaven.

  She pulled back and gazed into his face in search of answers. What had just happened here? Sure, she’d expected him to be good in bed. That’s what he did professionally, after all. But she hadn’t expected him to dismantle her with no more than a kiss.

  “See what I mean?” he said.

  “Mean?” He expected her to remember a conversation that had taken place a few minutes before he’d rearranged her neurons?

  “About sex. You need to let it take over.”

  “I’m afraid that’s more easily said than done.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “You just did a pretty good imitation.”

  “Due to your skill.”

  “I’d like to take credit.” He gave her a grin. “But it was all chemistry.”

  “I’m a physicist.”

  “Do tell.” He reached to her blouse and started in on the buttons. Of course, she’d get naked, but she hadn’t considered that he might undress her. She hadn’t considered much of anything at all, when you got right down to it. Maybe she’d thought of this as a visit to the doctor’s office where someone would leave her alone to get into a paper drape.

  Instead, she had a drop-dead gorgeous man taking great care with some buttons, as if he might tear one off if he lost control. And that in itself made for some hot fantasy. Imagine this big guy so consumed with lust for her he’d rip her clothing to get at her now. Having a man devoted to your pleasure and so insanely aroused that he took you, hard and fast, was a major turn-on. Maybe she should ask Brent to play caveman. Or maybe she’d wait to see if he did it on his own.

  He didn’t turn into a raging beast, though, but he kept undressing her methodically. First the blouse, which he removed and turned to drape over a chair, but she took it from him and dropped it onto the floor.

  His eyebrow went up. “In a rush?”

  “It’s just clothing.”

  “You’ll look rumpled when you leave.”

  “So much the better,” she said. “It’ll prove I got my money’s worth.”

  “You’re nuts, professor.”

  “I know.”

  He reached behind her to unfasten her bra. When he had it off, he held it between his thumb and forefinger before dropping it onto her blouse. A cute game except for the fact her breasts were now uncovered, and the peaks stood as stiff proof that this was more than a pleasant encounter, like a little necking on a first date. He covered her breasts with his hands, squeezing gently. Already primed by their kiss, her libido roared back to life. The nipples became ultra sensitive pressed against his palms, and the sensation traveled through her, past her belly to her sex.

  “Sweet,” he said, as he lifted her breasts and rubbed his thumbs over the tips.

  “You must compliment all your clients.”

  “Only honestly,” he said. “Don’t you think your breasts are beautiful?”

  “I guess.”

  “Are you really that out of touch with your own body?” He bent and took a nipple into his mouth. He continued toying with the other one as he sucked on the first, his cheeks working. The look on his face was almost angelic; his eyes closed, and his lashes fanned his cheeks. And, oh, the sensations he created. Zingers of pleasure speeding along her nerves to every erogenous zone on her body. She wobbled a bit and clutched his head for balance.

  Chuckling, he straightened and pulled her against him. Somehow, he’d melted her bones from the inside out, and she might have fallen if he hadn’t held her.

  “Bed, I think,” he said.

  She merely nodded against his chest. Before she could guess his intent, he’d bent and scooped her up into his arms.

  “Careful with your back,” she said, clutching his neck. “I’m heavy.”

  “Light as a feather.”

  “I’m five ten, you dummy.” And not overly slender, although she wouldn’t mention that aloud. If he wanted to play he-man, he’d have only himself to blame if he threw his back out. Only please not before they’d had crazy monkey sex.

  He didn’t seem to notice her weight but walked to the bed and laid her on the comforter. After removing her shoes and knee-highs, he unbuttoned her slacks and slid the zipper down. Her panties came off along with the slacks, and in a moment she lay completely naked.

  Studying her as if she were some exotic creature, he laid his hand on her belly, his fingers spread so one almost reached into the curls over her sex. An odd gesture, almost a claiming, staking out his territory. Only what did he see when he looked at her?

  “You
’re beautiful,” he said after a long moment.

  “Honesty.”

  “Total honesty,” he said. “I can’t wait to fuck you.”

  She let out a laugh. She knew that word, of course, and used it occasionally, especially if someone really pissed her off. It had never sounded sexy before, but the way he used it—as if he couldn’t help himself—brought up the whole issue of control again. They’d gone beyond niceties, and now, they’d, well, fuck.

  After ditching his own shoes and socks, he rose and jerked his sweater over his head, exposing his naked chest. What a specimen. His jeans rode low on his hips, giving her a view of him from shoulders to pelvis. A sculptor might have fashioned him as the ideal male, from the cords of muscle in his neck to the wide collarbone and below. Firm pectorals, flat belly, and, yes, the outline of a very large erection straining against his fly.

  Staring at him, her mouth went dry. Her pussy had a completely different reaction, and it was a good thing, too. If she was going to take all of that inside her, she’d better be lubricated. And there was no way she’d miss out on a single inch of him.

  He gave her a knowing smile as he unfastened his fly, one button at a time. He’d worn nothing under his sweater, and the same went for his pants. When he pushed them down and stepped out of them, he was gloriously naked. Six foot three of prime male Homo sapiens, with a cock that would make a porn star proud. All of that for her, as long and as often as she wanted, for hours and hours.

  When he joined her on the bed, she rolled onto her side so she could run her palms over him. Along his shoulders and over his chest. She flicked her thumbs over his flat nipples, registering his slight tremor in response. Farther down, she explored the planes of his abdomen, but, of course, her true destination lay lower. She curled her fingers around his shaft, savoring the velvet feel of him. Underneath he was as hard as steel. When she pumped him, he closed his eyes in bliss, and his breath caught. What a toy he was: hers to play with and enjoy the results. She couldn’t stop petting him, from the bulbous head to the sac beneath. Ever so gently, she stroked that with her free hand.

  With a groan, he covered her hand with his, stilling it. “You’ll want to leave me some control.”

  What a delight that she could affect him so powerfully. “You’re a professional.”

  “I’m a man first, and you’re making me incredibly hot.”

  She bit her lip. “You really find me sexy?”

  “Don’t you ever doubt it.” He rolled her onto her back and slid his body over hers. Though he held himself on his elbows, keeping most of his weight off her, his skin pressed against hers. What luxury. She ran her hands under his arms and to his back, so she could stroke it as he lowered his face to hers.

  This time when they kissed, nothing separated them. Nothing at all. She could bask in his warmth while his lips launched an assault on her senses. Pass after pass of his mouth on hers soon had her brain reeling. Just enough pressure to make her want more and more, and all the time the evidence of his arousal pressed against her pelvis.

  By the time he finished with her mouth and slid lower, leaving a trail of kisses over her throat, she was struggling for air. She stroked his hair, his shoulders, anything she could reach. And then he was sliding lower, taking a neglected nipple between his lips. Arching her back, she pressed herself up to him. Offering and demanding at the same time.

  The neural circuits clicked and connected, sending a charge to all the sensitive places on her body: to her pussy, of course, but also to the curves behind her knees. Even to the arches of her feet. With only the gentle sucking at her breast, he could arouse her entire body.

  Then he moved lower, his skin gliding over hers as he pressed kisses all over her ribs and downward. Easing her legs apart, he made a place for himself between her thighs. Oh, God, he was really going to do that. Cunnilingus, oral sex. The ultimate a man could do for a woman. Her heart nearly stopped in her chest, and for a moment she didn’t breathe. If he teased her clitoris with his tongue and she still didn’t come, what in hell would she say to him?

  You were fabulous, but I guess it’s not my night?

  It’s not you; it’s me?

  And still he went lower, until his face lay only inches away from her pussy. Now or never time. Countdown to liftoff. Probably.

  She let herself breathe again. Evenly. And she relaxed her shoulders. But when he parted the lips of her sex and made a single pass with his tongue, she gasped.

  He lifted his head. “Something wrong?”

  “No. I’m great. Just great.”

  “I won’t do this if you don’t want me to,” he said.

  “Please. I do. Really.”

  “Okay.” He gave her a smile. “Relax and enjoy.”

  Enjoy, she could manage. Relax, well, they’d see about that.

  He went back to work, this time stroking her pussy lips gently. Just a brush of his fingertips. Clever man. Not pushing but enticing. And honestly, how could any woman resist such a tender caress on her most sensitive flesh? With a sigh, she sank back into the mattress, closed her eyes, and let him proceed any way that came into his head. After a bit, his touch landed on the tip of her clitoris, and this time the jolt that went through her contained nothing but pure pleasure.

  “Ohhhhh.” Her own voice, low and thick with need—she’d never heard herself like that before.

  He took that as his cue and swiped his tongue over her again, from the entrance to her pussy upward, lingering on her clit. Heaven, pure heaven. Her breathing became ragged enough to fill the space around them, and she reached down and burrowed her fingers in his hair to signal her approval. And a silent plea for more.

  She needn’t have begged because he continued. He flicked his tongue over her clit, circled it, and pressed it. And, oh, how she responded. Tiny pricks of light appeared on the backs of her eyelids as her arousal went to simmer. Her whole body grew warm and then hot. And he kept going, never letting up on the pressure, building such a fire of need inside her that she ought to go up in flames.

  This time, she’d come. This time, she wouldn’t be able to hold back. She could do it. Nothing would stop her.

  And then his finger probed her entrance, pressing inside and retreating. A whole new set of sensations. She’d already become wet, and as he slid his finger fully inside her, more moisture collected between her thighs. Unbelievable pleasure, but how much more wonderful to have his amazing cock inside her when she came. Stretching her and filling her. That would have to be the ultimate.

  Oh, yeah. Shit, yes. Now.

  “I’m ready,” she whispered.

  He lifted his head again, and she opened her eyes to look at him.

  “You sure?” he said. “I can finish this first.”

  “I want you inside me.”

  “All right, then.” He swung his feet over the side of the bed and opened a drawer in the small table. Quickly, he tore the square packet open and rolled the condom over his cock.

  Still holding his weight off her, he settled himself between her legs. Now she could reach his shaft and guide the head of his cock between her lips. He eased himself in slowly, allowing her to savor the passage of each inch. In truth, she had to adjust to his size, but after a few heart-melting moments, he was fully embedded in her. They stared into each other’s eyes for a long second, and then he pulled nearly out and surged back into her.

  Lord, have mercy. Her vision went unfocussed with pleasure, and she closed her eyes. As she had before, she ran her arms under his and back up so her palms fell on his shoulders. His muscles tensed with the effort to support his weight. But down below . . . oh, man . . . down below, the constant thrust and retreat created havoc inside her. Never in her life had she experienced such total possession.

  He groaned into her ear. “So tight.”

  “Is that good?”

  “Amazing,” he said.

  “You’re amazing, too.”

  “I just hope I last.”

  He would
, certainly. He was a professional, and he wouldn’t leave her hanging. “I have faith in you.”

  He laughed, but the sound came out strained. His movements grew faster as he pushed himself into her. Each thrust jostled her clitoris, and the haze of deep arousal clouded her mind again. Yes, she’d come now. She only had to work a bit harder. Reach for it. Visualize it. Let it happen.

  “Angela?” he whispered.

  “Yes, Brent.”

  “Are you—”

  “Yes. Just don’t stop.” Damn it. Damn it all to hell. He was perfect. He’d done everything right. She’d done everything right. Why wouldn’t it happen?

  “God!” he shouted. After a few more massive thrusts, he stiffened in her arms. He’d climaxed, of course. She’d lied to him, telling him she was going to come, so she could hardly be upset with him. So, when he sank onto her, she held him and stroked his back.

  Maybe he hadn’t noticed her lack of orgasm. They could try again later. Something different. The experiment wouldn’t end up a total failure.

  After a moment, he rolled off her onto his side and pulled her against him. “You didn’t come.”

  “Maybe I did,” she said. “Sort of.”

  “There’s no sort of where orgasms are concerned. You either come or you don’t, and you didn’t.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She burrowed her head under his chin, avoiding his gaze. “You were wonderful.”

  “Not wonderful enough, obviously.”

  “It’s no big deal.”

  “Angela.” He slipped a finger under her chin and tipped her head back so he could stare into her eyes. “I’m going to take care of it.”

  “How?”

  With his trademark gentle touch, he eased her onto her back and kissed her again. Such a consummate lover, he wove a veil of lust around her, the heat of his body warming her right down to her toes. His hand went exploring, over one breast, past her belly, and landing at the juncture of her thighs. Now when his fingers went between her pussy lips, they made wet sounds. She could have worried about that but his finger landed immediately on her clitoris.

  “I should have known better,” he said. “I should have finished you before we fucked.”